The Child Within
by Scarlett Sophie
Summary: Kate believes herself to be quite grownup, refusing to believe in childish things like Peter Pan. When he shows up in her room and whisks her off to Neverland, she gets in touch with her inner child. But Peter is feeling things he's never felt before...
1. An Escape from the Gilded Cage

Chapter One

"Mother, tell us another Peter Pan story!"

Margaret laughed and pulled Jack onto her lap. Kate rolled her eyes as she sat at her desk, doing her homework. She gently tapped her pencil against her notebook as she tried to think, silently cursing French grammar.

"Well, the Lost Boys were rather bored, so they got together and cooked up a plot to steal Captain Hook's hook. And-"

"Mother, stop it. You don't need to fill his head with silly stories," Kate burst out. Her voice was calm but her tone icy.

They both turned to look at her. Margaret seemed shocked, while little Jack turned large, confused eyes on his big sister.

"I found Napoleon!" William screamed as he burst into the room, beaming. In his hands he held a small wooden statue of the emperor. He glanced at the sad faces and frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Kate says that Peter Pan is a silly story," Jack said quietly, his voice edged with tears. The child's eyes were watery, threatening to spill over any minute.

"That's not true!" William burst out angrily. "Peter Pan is real!"

"No, he not, William. He's make-believe, and it's stupid of you to waste your time listening to these stupid stories. There are better things to do in life!" she yelled back.

"Like what? Listening to stupid John Lennon all day?" Will retorted. Kate gasped in horror at the smear of her idol.

"You leave John out of this!"

"Stop it, both of you!" Margaret interrupted. Her voice was loud but now it got soft, soft and deadly. "Kate, I think it would be best if you went to your room."

It was more of a command than a suggestion. Kate didn't respond. She silently gathered her things and left, making sure to slam the door behind herself.

"Is Peter Pan real, Mother?" Jack asked once she had left. In his eyes you could see the fear, the fear that Kate was actually right.

His mother looked down at him and smiled. She kissed his cheek.

"He's as real as you or I."

There was a knock on the door. Kate had been putting a record onto the record player, and the Beatles now rang throughout the room. She turned just as her mother entered the room.

Kate was in her nightgown, a pretty pink thing that reached her knees and had lace all around the collar. She didn't even look at her mother, but instead down on her bed and began flipping through a magazine, fingering the lace at the hem of her nightgown as she did so.

"Your brothers are still very young. They can believe in Peter Pan if they want," she said quietly. Her voice was tired, disappointed almost. Kate's lips tightened.

"They should know that they're just stories. They shouldn't grow up thinking that Peter Pan is real," she retorted, slamming her magazine shut with an angry wrist movement.

"He is real, Katie," Margaret said, tears welling up in her eyes. She wished she could force her daughter to believe once more. She wished she could turn back time, make things right again…

"I'm nearly fifteen, Mother. I'm old enough to know that he's not real." She paused. "And stop calling me Katie; I'm not a little girl anymore."

"You're not an adult yet, either. You still have time to grow. And until you're done growing, you'll listen to my stories and you'll believe. And you'll refrain from ruining your brothers' fun."

Kate said nothing. She walked over to her phone, which sat innocently on the table, and glanced over at her mother before picking it up.

"I've got to call Mary. We've decided to go shopping together tomorrow and we have to decide-"

"I'm not done talking."

Kate rolled her eyes.

"Never mind, I can tell you've got other things on your mind. Just try to believe, for tonight at least."

She turned to go. She paused in the doorway and looked back at her daughter. She was holding the phone up to her ear; she was obviously waiting for her friend to pick up the phone.

"I love you Katie," she said quietly.

"I told you not to call me-"she said angrily, but was interrupted by someone talking to her on the other end of the line. Margaret sighed and went to tuck the boys in.

Nothing stirred in the house. All was dark, except for two night lights that had been lit in the room shared by Will and Jack. All the windows in the house were closed, except the one in Kate's room, because she had closed the door to keep her mother out and it had gotten quite stuffy.

The wind gently stirred the curtains, and Kate unconsciously pulled the blankets a bit closer around herself.

Leaves blew in from the window, littering the floor. They were skeleton leaves, red and gold and yellow.

And through the window flew a boy, clothed in these very same leaves. He grinned in a rather conceited way as he looked about the room, while what appeared to be a small ball of light dashed about, apparently exploring.

He noticed Kate asleep in the bed, and he crept slowly closer until he was mere inches away from her, and he reached out and touched her hair. She awoke with a start, though she didn't scream.

"Who are you?" she demanded, forcing herself to sound angry even though she was frozen with fear.

"I'm Peter Pan."

Her breath caught in her throat. She stared at him, looking him over from head to toe, examining his odd clothes, his bare feet and his windswept hair.

"You're not real. I must be dreaming. This is all an insane dream, I know it! I'll wake up in a moment and you'll be gone-"

"Are you always this crazy?" he asked, grinning. She stopped rambling long enough to glare at him.

"How do I know that you're real?" she asked hesitantly.

He flew up into the air, hovering several feet above her head, a wide grin on his childish face. She laughed.

"That doesn't prove anything," she protested. "I could still be dreaming."

He slowly floated back down to the ground and offered her a hand. She took it, and he pulled her out of bed, to her feet.

"Think happy thoughts," he instructed, quite seriously. She laughed.

"I know how to fly," she said, tossing her head. Peter grinned mischievously, as though he knew something she didn't. "What?" she demanded.

He glanced down at his feet, and Kate followed suit, uttering a choked gasp as she noticed that they were floating in the air above her bed. She reached out and grabbed him, clinging to him in case she should fall. His hands were gentle as they clung to her waist, but strong and comforting, and she managed to calm down. Slowly, he guided her back to the ground and let go.

"That doesn't prove anything," she muttered quietly, her heart still racing.

Before she could say anything else, he had reached out and pinched her. She uttered a small screech of pain, grabbing her arm and massaging where he had pinched her. She glared at him, but he was silently laughing.

"I guess you are real," she said apprehensively.

"Of course I am. You couldn't possibly think that any other boy could be as wonderful as me!" he exclaimed, walking around the room and pawing through her things.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded, still angry about the unnecessarily violent pinch.

"I've come to take you to Neverland," he said without looking at her. He held up a picture of John Lennon, torn from a magazine. He stared at it with interest.

"You're joking," she said, frowning.

"Wendy, you've got to come and tell us stories, and darn our socks and come on adventures with us! We do so need a mother, you know," he said, rushing towards her, his eyes twinkling, excitement filling his voice.

"I'm not Wendy," she said quietly, almost feeling sorry for him. He was a bit like the old people in the home that she sometimes talked to, who constantly confused events, their sense of time long ago lost to them. "My name is Katie."

She didn't know why she said that was her name- she hated it when anyone else called her that. But she felt it would have been hypocritical to have him call her Kate, since when she was Kate she was all grown up.

He swept her an elegant bow, and she laughed. She remembered when she was little and her teacher had insisted that they all learn proper manners. They had spent hours practicing their curtsies, learning how to greet a very important person, and the proper way to hold oneself. Since then she had hated those elegant bows and silly curtsies, she found them pointless and stupid.

"You must come with me though," he said, pulling her towards the window. There was a slight urgency in his voice. She resisted him, with some success.

"But I don't want to be a mother, and I don't want to darn your socks!" she protested. At that he let go of her, and she stumbled backwards, but caught her balance before she could fall. "That's awfully boring. I would much rather go on adventures and have fun all day."

At that his face lit up and he began pulling her towards the window once more.

"You can do that in Neverland! We can tease the pirates, and go hunting, and play with the fairies and the mermaids and the Indians!"

"Peter, stop!" she yelled, though not loud enough to wake anyone else in the house. He froze though, and released her arm, staring at her in confusion and bewilderment. "I can't just…leave."

He frowned for a moment, thinking, racking his brains in an attempt to find a way to lure her away with him.

"Why do you want to stay here?" he demanded, at a loss of understanding her decision. "Why wouldn't you want to come on adventures with me and the Lost Boys?"

She walked over to her record-player and began fingering the grooves in the disc. She smiled as she read the word on the label.

"I have friends here, and school, and, oh, it would hurt Mother so if I was gone!" she explained, continuing to finger the record. But her voice was flat as she spoke; there was neither conviction nor passion in her words. Peter grinned, sensing her weakness at last.

"There's no school in Neverland," he whispered in her ear, words of seduction. "There are no teachers, no tests. And there are no mothers to tell us what to do. No grown-ups, except for the pirates, but we're allowed to kill them."

Kate smiled. She remembered when she used to dream of Neverland, that perfect place, her very own Utopia… It would serve Mother right for bossing her around! She was nearly a grown-up, after all.

"Promise that you'll show me the mermaids," she said, grinning as she propelled herself into the air.


	2. Transfixed

Chapter Two

"Oh, it's beautiful!" she exclaimed as the island came into view.

They were flying just mere inches above the water, and she laughed as she splashed water in his face and he returned the favor.

"That's not fair!" she cried as he flew several feet above her to escape her reach. He stuck out his tongue at her, and she rolled her eyes, thinking how childish he was.

They came to land in a small clearing surrounded by tall trees. In the very center of the clearing was a small house, smoke pouring from a chimney that looked rather like a hat. Kate's face lit up as she recognized the house, and she immediately rushed to it and wrenched the door open, eagerly looking around. She smiled, picking up a small teddy bear she was sure had once belonged to her great-great uncle Michael.

"Where are the Lost Boys?" she demanded as Peter appeared in the doorway. She did not intend to be so sharp, but she had begun to feel tears welling up in her throat, and she hated people to see her when she was emotional.

"They're at the Home under the Ground, I expect," he said. "Would you like to see it?"

Kate's face lit up at once, recalling all of her childhood daydreams almost at once. She nodded eagerly, dropping Michael's bear and following Peter through the woods.

They didn't have very far to walk. Soon they were there, and Peter pushed a knot in the tree trunk, causing a door to open. He went in, and Kate followed suit, staying very close to the wall so that she wouldn't get lost in the darkness. Light suddenly surrounded her and she found herself in a large room filled with toys and playthings, gold and treasure, swords and armor. A dozen boys stood in a line in front of her, eager smiles on their faces. They watched her intently, their small eyes alert, attentive to any movement, however small.

"This is Katie," Peter said grandly. The boys cheered.

"Will you be our mother?" one asked, slightly hesitantly. Kate glanced at Peter to see if he had put them up to this, but he himself seemed rather angered with the one who had spoken up.

"Well, I'm not here to be your mother, but I'll play with you, if you like," she said kindly. They seemed perfectly content with this answer, and they cheered once more.

"What shall we play first?" demanded a small boy with freckles an eager expression.

Kate thought for a moment, trying to think of a game that she would enjoy playing, too. But she doubted whether they would be interested in playing Truth or Dare.

"Have you ever heard of Robin Hood?" she asked, thinking they could play pretend. They all exchanged confused expressions, except a few brave souls who muttered something about the name having a familiar ring. She laughed. "Well, he's this terribly famous man who lived in England, and he was once a lord, before he was unjustly declared an outlaw by the evil Prince John-"

And so she began a story that would last for many nights. It was almost like in the days of old, when Wendy sat telling them stories, the boys staring up at her in admiration, fascinated by her words. And now, just like then, Peter sat off to one side in his own chair, pretending to be doing something else, though he was really listening just as intently as any of them. And every chance he got he stole glances at her, each look filled with wonder, fascination, and perhaps something deeper and more mature, whose very nature he himself feared to explore.

"So if Hook is gone, who's captain of the Jolly Roger?"

She had adapted quickly to life on the island. Despite her initial doubts, she had embraced the Lost Boys' free spirited way of life. She enjoyed being able to slow down and relax, basking in their childlike games. It felt good not to grow anymore, not to feel pressure to be constantly grown-up.

At the moment she was sitting in a field of flowers, weaving a flower crown. Peter was only a few feet away, fencing with an invisible partner. He would madly slash at the air, advancing or retreating as he saw fit; Kate ignored him for the most part, most of her attention focused on her own work.

"He calls himself Edward Bones, for he is supposed to cause one's bones to shake at the very sight of him. But he's really not that fearsome. I've fought him a couple of times, you know," Peter informed her, barely keeping the conceit from his voice.

Kate frowned, finishing off her flower crown and examining it with a critical eye.

"Is he as much fun as Hook?" she inquired, as she placed the wreath on her head.

"He doesn't anger so easily," Peter said. "If we annoy him, he rather calmly tells his pirates to go and find any Lost Boy on the island, and to kill him. He does that sometimes for fun, too. He doesn't gloat about his victories, either- he lets others gloat and brag for him."

"How does it look?" she asked, after she was done arranging her hair.

He lowered his sword and turned to look at her. Never before had Peter Pan hesitated before speaking; but he hesitated now, watching as Kate smiled at him, tossing her hair in that seductive way that women have.

"You look really pretty," he said finally. Kate smiled and blushed, looking away.

"It seems to me that he needs to find himself a girl," Kate said dryly, artfully changing the subject.

"He had one, once," Peter informed her, coming and sitting beside her. He plucked a flower and stared at it for a long moment before continuing. "No one is quite sure what happened to her. But she disappeared, and since then he's been the cruel pirate everyone on the island fears. Except me, of course."

She laughed and took the flower from him. She plucked another one and began making a second crown.

"I'd like to meet this Edward Bones sometime," she said pensively. "He can't really be as fearsome as everyone says he is. He must have some weakness; everyone does."

"Who cares about weaknesses?" he demanded contemptuously, pulling pieces of grass from the ground in large fistfuls. "I can't be bothered to waste my time thinking. It's much more fun to annoy others and not think about anything."

"There," she said, smiling. She leaned forward and gently placed the crown of flowers on his head. "You're King now."

He stared at her for a long and terribly uncomfortable moment, during which she avoided his gaze. But the silence was broken by the Lost Boys tumbling into the clearing, bows and arrows at the ready, loudly demanding that Peter come up with a game for them to play.

"Let's play Robin Hood," Carrot suggested, and they all cheered.

They had long ago decided on their respective roles in the game, and though arguments sometimes broke out over why Carrot, for example, always got to be Will Scarlet, they always retained the same persona.

"Well men, let's go play some tricks on Prince John!" Peter exclaimed. For he being the leader, it was undisputed that he should be Robin. Prince John, of course, was the infamous Bones.

The boys cheered and Kate laughed.

"What shall we do today, Robin?" she asked.

Peter looked pensive for a moment, then grinned, drawing out his sword and crowing.

"Today we shall steal some of his treasure," he announced. Right on cue, the Lost Boys cheered.

"Surely I will come too?" Kate demanded. Peter swept her an elegant bow.

"Of course, Milady," he said, a small smile playing on the edges of his lips. "But Prince John is a mighty adversary- are you up to the challenge?"

Kate grinned. "I need only a sword."

Chocolate handed her his own sword, stolen from a pirate during some adventure or other. Peter held up his sword, inviting her to strike first. She accepted the invitation, striking hard and low. But Peter had wonderful defensive skills, and he parried her blow with ease.

And so it continued, one attacking while the other retreated. One gave quite a bit of ground to the other, and so it would look as though the fight was almost over; but one swift blow and a series of attacks would reverse the situation.

But finally she glimpsed an opening, slipped her sword beneath his blade, and sent his sword flying off to one side. She grinned, pointing her sword at his neck.

"Well fought," he acknowledged as she lowered her weapon. "Prince John is no match for you."

They crept quietly through the woods. The pirates had a special cave where they stored their treasure, which was guarded day and night by at least two of Bones' men. Once in a while the captain himself would stop by the cave and count the gold pieces, since he had learned that one should never trust pirates, especially with money, and so he liked to personally make sure that every last piece was accounted for.

The guards that day were two great big men by the names of Jim and Bloody Harry. Neither one was particularly bright, but they were both so great in size and so ugly of face that no one thought any the less of them.

"Listen, Marian will go up to the guards and distract them. Then the Boys and I will sneak into the cave and steal the treasure. We'll get away before they even realize anything happened."

They all agreed this was a very good plan, and so Kate walked towards them, trying her best to appear extremely confused.

"Excuse me," she said in a bewildered voice. "Do you know where to find my hat? I seem to have misplaced it."

Usually, even they would find this type of behavior highly suspicious. But these two had been a part of Hook's crew, and had been taught that good form was absolutely essential, even to a pirate; and so it was not in their nature to question a girl, even if her actions did appear to be rather odd and questionable.

"I'm afraid we haven't seen it," Jim ventured slowly. Kate let out a great, melodramatic sigh worthy of Garbo.

"That's terrible, simply terrible," she said, wringing her hands. "My mother has been complaining that I misplace my things far too often. You must help me find my hat, please! She'll be so angry if I return home without it."

Their hearts were touched by this tragic story, and they agreed to help her look for her hat. The three wandered off, leaving the cave unguarded. Quickly and quietly, the Lost Boys crept into the cave.

It was a vast room, slightly damp but somewhat cozy, filled with jewels and riches of every sort. They whooped with delight when they saw the treasure, and immediately filled their pockets with gold and jewels. Peter spied a crown and put it on his head, and grabbed an amethyst and pearl necklace he thought Kate might like.

"What are you doing in here?" a voice boomed from the shadows.

"We're polishing your treasure," Peter replied smoothly, as the Lost Boys choked back their laughter.

"Peter Pan," the voice said, full of recognition. A man stepped out from the shadows, smiling wickedly. He was tall, clothed in a simple white shirt and pants. His hair was long and dark and hung lankly about his face. He had a single scar running down his cheek, a reminder of his first brush with Peter Pan. He had a thin mustache and a thin, pointed nose, and dark, piercing eyes that seemed to peer into the depths of your soul.

"Not too angry at us for last time?" Peter asked gaily, drawing his sword.

"Not at all," Bones replied. "On the contrary, those Indians proved to be wonderful targets for our shooting practice."

He stepped forward, by this time his own sword drawn. But before he could strike, the sound of Kate's voice filtered through to them, and they all froze. Peter eyed Bones warily, the Lost Boys watched Peter, and Bones simply smiled.

"My, my," he said slowly, putting his sword away. "Peter Pan in the company of a girl. How novel. Jim! Harry! Get in here! And bring the girl with you!"

They marched in, Jim holding her arms pinned behind her back. She didn't resist them, but wore an expression of mutinous contempt.

Bones walked up to her, standing so very close that she could taste the wine on his breath. He stared deep into her eyes, searching for something. She wanted to look away; she had the odd sensation that he could see into the very depths of her soul. But she found that she couldn't tear her eyes away from his, and so she was very glad when he finally looked away.

"She's very pretty, I must compliment you on your choice, Peter," he said. His tone was slightly mocking.

"Who _are_ you?" Kate demanded mutinously. She hated being treated as an object; her parents used to do that when they were discussing her prospects.

"I am Captain Bones," he said, slowly and carefully. "Captain of the Jolly Roger." Kate smiled slightly, a small smile of dawning comprehension.

"I'm Katie," she said, inclining her head since she couldn't curtsy.

He motioned for Jim to release her, and he began to circle her like a vulture, observing her from every angle. She kept her head high, but she couldn't help but feel slightly frightened of him.

"Well, I'm in a good mood today. I'll spare your life if you agree to join my crew," Bones said coldly.

"I'm not interested," Kate replied evenly, barely keeping herself from sticking her tongue out at him in a most childish way. Bones shrugged, apparently content with this answer.

"Very well," he said, turning his back to them. "Throw them off a cliff. And this time be sure their hands are tied."

Jim and Harry laughed eagerly, each seizing two children. But Kate and Peter managed to avoid their grasp, and they rushed as one up to Bones, drawing their swords as they did so.

"Two against one? That's hardly fair at all," Bones said coldly, going at Peter. "I'll have killed you before you can think to run away!"

"Peace and love, you big bully!" Kate yelled, striking at him whenever she found an opening.

Peter flew into the air, slashing at him from above, laughing as he did so. Kate grinned and while he was distracted, she slashed the back of his hand, causing him to drop his sword.

"Surrender?" she asked triumphantly as she pointed her sword at his throat, ready to slash if he should make any sudden movements.

Anger rose now within the pirate, for it was the first time he had ever lost a fight. But there was nothing he could do save surrender and wait for the opportune moment to exact his revenge.

And so the Lost Boys were released from the grips of Jim and Harry, and they all hurried to gather as much treasure as they could. And while Kate continued to hold her sword against Bones' throat, they Boys ran from the cave.

"It was a pleasure to meet you," she said, inclining her head. Then she rose into the air and flew out of the cave alongside Peter.

"Come with me," he ordered, grabbing her hand and steering her in a direction other than the one in which the Boys were now headed.

They landed on a rock out in the middle of the lagoon, which Kate recognized at once as Marooner's Rock. The sun was just beginning to set, and the water was a dark and slightly sinister color. Eerie cries echoed over the water, causing Kate to shiver and tightly grasp Peter's hand for comfort.

"What is that?' she whispered, upon noticing something swimming toward them. Her fear was at once replaced by curiosity, and she watched it with fascination.

"It's a mermaid," Peter said, quite matter-of-factly. He at once sat down on the rock and beckoned to it, and Kate hesitantly followed suit, watching with slight apprehension as the creature drew closer.

As it reached the rock Peter as once began to converse with it in a strange tongue. He pointed to Kate and they both laughed. The mermaid stared at Kate after that, apparently fascinated. Kate felt awkward at first, and avoided its gaze; but she met its gaze once and was transfixed. Peter was by this time conversing with several other mermaids who had swum up to the rock, and he didn't notice that the creature had reached out and was now pulling Kate into the water.

"Watch out for the Pan boy," a voice in her head seemed to be saying. She didn't even notice as the water touched her skin. "His feelings for you might get you into trouble."

"Kate!"

The spell was broken as Peter pulled her out of the water and the mermaid disappeared.

"Are all mermaids like that?" she asked as she tried to wring the water out of her nightgown. Peter shrugged.

"They're nice to me," he said simply, skipping a stone across the water.

"They're not nearly as sweet as the stories make them out to be," she said sourly, starting to shiver in her damp dress.

"The stories are usually wrong," he said shortly. "Shall we go home now? I'm starting to get hungry."

Not for the first time, Kate marveled at his incredible selfishness. But she rose into the air alongside him, and followed him all the way back to their home under the ground.


	3. The Fire Tree

Chapter Three

"Peter? You home?"

The cry rang out quite early in the morning, just as everyone was beginning to wake up. Kate had fallen asleep on the floor, and she awoke to find a girl standing over her, peering at her in a most curious manner.

"Me Tiger Lily," the girl said.

"I'm Katie," Kate replied, sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

"Where Peter?" Tiger Lily pressed. Kate yawned and shrugged, sleep still weighing down on her so that she couldn't quite think properly.

The object of their conversation appeared then, having gone off to hunt in the middle of the night. He appeared with a smile on his face, not in the least surprised to see Tiger Lily. And the fairy at his side chimed in happiness, for she rather liked Tiger Lily.

"What news, brave warrior?" he asked as he set his bow against the wall and sat down in his favorite chair, a large and overstuffed armchair covered with a bear skin.

"Tiger Lily come to invite Great White Father and his braves to feast tonight," the girl said. By this time Kate was fully conscious, and she listened eagerly to their conversation, alerted by the word "feast".

"We will be glad to attend, if we don't happen upon any adventures before then," Peter said. Kate grinned as she set about preparing the tea kettle.

"Tiger Lily go tell her braves good news," she said, bowing to him. "Braves look forward to seeing Peter Pan at feast."

And with that she left, as quickly and quietly as she had come.

Peter had by this time made himself quite comfortable in his chair, lounging around with his feet in the air. With a wave of his hand he indicated to Kate that he wished to be fed.

"Get it yourself, you lazy ass," Kate shot. Her tone was not angry, it was more like annoyed. But Peter couldn't tell the difference.

She was one of a generation who loathed the idea of housewifery, and who were not at all shy about expressing these views. She had been raised watching film stars like Kate Hepburn and Edie Sedgwick, and she longed to be like them- free from the boring and loathsome domestic world.

Peter stared at her in shock, for he had always been accustomed to people doing everything he asked; worse, he had never been called names before, and this wounded him deeply. He jumped up at once and went over to her. She was busy pouring herself a cup of tea, and she didn't even look up as he approached her.

"Did I anger you?" he asked, frowning. At this very moment his single greatest fear was that she would want to go home, and that he would be alone; and so everything he did revolved around convincing her to stay.

"No, but you can be incredibly annoying sometimes," she said, turning her back to him and sipping her tea.

"I'm sorry, Katie," he said, sounding utterly distraught.

It was this apology that softened her heart. For it is well known that Peter Pan never apologizes for anything, and that he was excusing himself now touched her.

"Would you like some tea, Peter?" she asked.

The Lost Boys were waking up now, and when they did Kate and Peter eagerly told them all about the party that night. That one moment of tenderness seemed to be forgotten as the Lost Boys pummeled them with questions. And though Peter may have forgotten it, Kate most certainly had not.

The Indian feast was a very large affair. A huge bonfire was made in the center of their camp, and dancers dressed in deerskin and feather headdresses sang and danced around it, while some other people, also wearing feather headdresses, provided a rhythm by tapping on drums. The Lost Boys and Peter, being honorary members of the tribe, had come wearing face paint and jewels like the other tribe members wore, made from glass beads and animal teeth. But Kate had nothing special to wear, and she felt incredibly out of place.

"They're praying to their god for a good harvest this year," Peter whispered in her ear. She smiled, understanding now why everyone kept glancing at the corn fields, shrouded in darkness and now but a mere shadow.

When the singing and dancing was over, they were served food of the widest variety: pork and deer, ham and yams, beans and carrots, corn and potatoes, apples and nuts and berries. The Lost Boys all ate with great gusto, for little boys are always hungry, however much you feed them. Kate took little helpings of every dish, as she had been taught were proper manners. The Indians watched her with interest, for she took such small, dainty bites instead of shoving great handfuls of food into her mouth, as her companions were doing.

"Here Katie, try some of these," a little boy called Patches said, offering her a bowl of bread-fruits. She smiled at him and took the smallest one. The boys watched with fascination, for they never bothered with manners, and always loved watching people who had manners.

Peter had disappeared during the meal, and he now returned, accompanied by the head of the tribe, an old wrinkled woman by the name of Brown Bear. The woman carried a ceremonial headdress in her hands, flowers and beads woven around the feathers. She walked over to Kate and began uttering words in a foreign tongue, the other Indians sometimes interrupting with the appropriate response.

"What's going on?" she whispered to Patches, who sat next to her. By now she was beginning to fear that they were to turn her into some pagan sacrifice or something equally horrible.

"They're making you a member of the tribe," Patches whispered back, completely in awe. Being one of the smallest boys, he was always both frightened and fascinated by such ceremonies.

Kate glanced across the bonfire at Peter, who was sitting beside Tiger Lily and gleefully wolfing down whatever food was in reach. He didn't appear to be paying any attention at all to the ceremony; but somehow Kate knew that he'd had a role in it.

Brown Bear gently placed the crown on Kate's head, and this brought her attention back to the ceremony. Everyone cheered, and the Indians stood up and began to dance once more. The Lost Boys at once crowded around her to congratulate her, and she laughed and thanked them.

"You must dance now," Patches whispered, as the music faded away and everyone turned to look at Kate. At first she was overcome with stage fright, but then she thought that John Lennon would never back down from a challenge. And so she stood and the music started again, at first slow and then louder and faster. Kate nimbly twisted her body this way and that; her footwork was excellent. Everyone watched, entranced by the lovely creature. And so when the music stopped and she went to find her seat once more, they all cheered quite loudly, the Lost Boys loudest of all.

Others began to dance, as though it were a party. Kate watched with fascination, and they each danced steps of their own imagination, winding their way through the crowd, changing partners as often as they could. Some sang as they danced, the words loud and haunting cries. She was so drawn in by the dance that she started as Peter gently touched her shoulder to attract her attention.

"Come with me," he whispered in her ear.

He led her by the hand away from the camp and into the woods. It was dark and she could hardly see; twigs and branches snapped underfoot. They came upon a large oak tree, illuminated from the inside. Small sparks of light escaped from a small hole in the trunk, whizzing off into the night skies. Kate frowned, thinking it was on fire, then gasped in recognition. Peter was smiling with satisfaction and he pulled her closer to the tree, urging her to look through the small hole in the trunk.

Hundreds of tiny fairies lived in the tree. It was like a little town, small shelves made on the inside of the trunk serving as homes for the tiny creatures. The homes were decorated with furniture made from twigs and leaves and berries; the furniture, despite its rustic constituents, was lovelier than anything Kate had ever seen before. The fairies rushed about through their little city, doing errands, interacting with their fellow citizens. A great din arose from the tree, but it sounded rather like the tinkling of bells, the ringing of a small and gentle instrument; this was their conversation. Sometimes a slightly angry sound was heard; but it was quieted as soon as it erupted, for fairies only have room for one emotion at a time.

They didn't notice Peter and Kate, or at least, it appeared that they hadn't. She pulled away from the tree, her eyes bright and excited, her cheeks flushed with pleasure.

"They're so beautiful," she said quietly, as though she was afraid her voice would deafen them.

"They're not beautiful once you get to know them," Peter informed her, but his tone was good-natured and he sported a wide smile.

"How do you ever manage to remember all of their names?" she asked, looking back into the tree.

"I don't," Peter said simply. She laughed, but to her surprise none of the fairies turned to see what the source of the noise could be. She thought for a moment that perhaps Peter had learned his selfishness from them; and her idea was not completely false.

"They're so small and delicate," Kate said after a long moment of silence. Peter didn't answer. He stood a couple of steps away from the tree, and was watching her with fascination, slightly frightened by the feelings welling up inside him.

She turned to look at him, surprised by his silence. He smiled at her, and she was reassured. She took several steps in his direction. Her face shone brightly in the light emanating from the tree, and she looked a bit like a fairy herself, her dark hair reflecting the light.

"Thank you for showing me this," she said quietly. Peter nodded.

"I have a present for you," he said quietly. "I took it from Bones."

He held out the amethyst and pearl bracelet he had stolen that eventful day they had crept into the pirate's cave. She gingerly took it from him, holding it up to the light and examining it with a critical eye. She beamed.

"Thank you!" she cried, throwing her arms around him. She had never known that Peter could be a thoughtful person, that he could think of anyone but himself, and the gesture touched her.

"It was nothing," he said, slightly uncomfortably. He usually enjoyed gratitude when he did someone a favor or gave them a gift- his actions were rarely without ulterior motives. But now he wished that she could just have accepted it and left it at that.

"Can you help me put it on?" she asked, holding out her wrist. He nodded and slowly did the clasp, not without some difficulty. She observed the bracelet on her wrist, smiling to herself. "It's beautiful," she said thoughtfully.

"You're welcome," he said, not knowing what else to say. She smiled at him. "We should get back to the others," he said finally, beginning to feel odd. She nodded, slightly disappointed that their time together was over.

"Where did you go?" Carrot demanded when they returned. None of the others had noticed their absence, and Peter waved it off with a simple explanation.

"Did you like fire-tree?" someone said in Kate's ear as she sat down and watched the dancers again. She spun quickly to face Tiger Lily, who was smiling slightly.

"It was lovely," Kate said sincerely, grinning broadly. Tiger Lily made herself comfortable on the ground next to the visitor.

"Peter very excited to show fire-tree to girl," Tiger Lily said with a smile, tracing pictures in the dirt in front of her with a stick. Kate watched the drawings taking shape, entranced. They didn't make much sense to her- they were just circles and squiggly lines, but somehow she found them beautiful.

"I wonder why that could be," Kate said offhandedly, distracted by the shapes being drawn. Tiger Lily abruptly put down the stick and looked at Kate, almost critically. Kate continued staring down at the picture.

"Peter have many feelings for girl," Tiger Lily said seriously. "Girl must be nice to Peter because Peter no love before."

Kate jerked her head up, shaken by the words "Peter" and "love" being used in the same sentence. She shook her head quickly to negate the girl's statement, but Tiger Lily held up a hand to silence her.

"Tiger Lily trust girl, but girl must not take trust lightly. Trust very strong thing, especially to Indians. And girl one of Indians now."

Kate nodded slowly, the words weighing heavily upon her. There wasn't much sense to them, putting aside the fact that they were spoken in garbled English. But she nodded anyway, sensing that their meaning would become clear eventually.

"I thought Peter loved Wendy," she said quietly.

"But Wendy go away," Tiger Lily said slowly. "Wendy grow up and she not Wendy to Peter any more."

Tiger Lily wiped the drawings away with one deft hand movement. Kate looked down with wonder at the spot where the intricate designs had been moments before.

"Girl take care to not grow up," Tiger Lily said slowly. "Peter not able to take another love grow up."


	4. The Pool of Reflection

Chapter Four

"No, hold it like this," he instructed, taking her hand and moving it up, holding her elbow up so that it was tucked in tightly to her body.

She sighed and obeyed, keeping the bow taught as she pulled on the arrow.

"Can I let go now?" she asked, taking careful aim at the mango that had been hung from the tree limb for her to shoot at.

"Go ahead," he said, stepping back as she loosed the arrow. It flew straight at the fruit, hitting it dead center and pinning it to the trunk of the tree. She yelled and jumped for joy, hugging Peter tightly, laughing and giggling.

"Thank you so much!"

"I told you that you could do it if you just tucked it your elbow!" he said with a laugh. She rolled her eyes. "I'm bored now… Let's go play some pranks on the pirates!"

He started to fly up into the air but she grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back to the ground.

"Isn't there anything else to do other than annoy the pirates?" she demanded, slightly annoyed with him. "Anything we haven't done before?"

Peter looked thoughtful for a moment, then grinned.

"Come with me!"

He grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her up into the air with him. She dropped the bow in the process, but Peter didn't seem to mind, so she didn't comment. She laughed as they flew over the trees, her fingers brushing the tips of the trees. She giggled at the ticklish touch they had, and Peter looked at her often, biting his lower lip to keep himself from saying something stupid.

"Where are we going?" she asked. He shook his head.

"It's a surprise, I can't tell you!" he said. She laughed as he steered her towards a large rock formation out in the middle of the water. "Close your eyes now."

She obeyed, sensing him guiding her, and then feeling the rock under her feet as she landed. It was cold to the touch, and she shivered slightly, but then Peter led her down some stairs and she was at once warm, though not because the climate was warm, but rather because it was damp. She felt water forming on her forehead, little beads of sweat, and she wiped it away with one hand, the other clinging tightly to Peter's hand so that she wouldn't fall.

"Open your eyes now," he instructed. She gasped. They were in a small sea-cave, the water licking the rock walls. In the center of the cave, amidst the water, was a large flat rock. The water cast beautiful patterns on the walls, in shades of blue and purple and sometimes even yellow, and Kate couldn't help being fascinated by their mystifying powers.

"What is this place?" she asked, turning to Peter.

"No one knows about it except me and now you," he said, kneeling and dipping his fingers into the pool of water.

"It's beautiful," Kate said. She laughed and flew into the air, flying in circles, doing somersaults in the air for fun. She flew just above the water, dipping her fingers in the water and forming patterns on its surface, provoking a change in the patterns on the walls of the cave. Peter laughed as he watched her, then finally flew up in the air to join her, touching her lightly on the arm.

"Tag, you're it!" he said with a laugh. Kate shook her head.

"That's not fair, I didn't know we were playing a game!"

"When you're with me, you're always playing a game," Peter reasoned, his eyes laughing. Kate giggled and lay on her back, floating in the air as she did so. She was getting quite good at flying, almost as good as Peter himself.

"I used to come here when I needed to think," Peter said quietly, floating down and landing on the rock in the middle of the water. He sat down and dipped his feet in the water, wiggling them around a little. "You know, when I wanted to be alone."

"Why would you need to be alone?" Kate asked quietly, coming to sit next to him. "You're Peter Pan… you don't ever need to be alone, to sit and analyze your feelings, to just languish in your sadness."

"I used to come here after Wendy left. She was a funny sort. She was always talking about feelings, and she always acted funny when Tiger Lily was around. And then she left, and I felt sort of… funny, you know? Like a piece of you has been left behind. I never cried in my life, except when I lost my shadow and when Wendy grew up. I only cry when I lose a part of myself, you know. It's like, every time I cry I get smaller. I think that if I cry enough times, all of me will be gone."

She sat in silence, pondering what he had to say. She sighed.

"Crying always makes me feel better," she said. "I cry a lot though, especially recently. My parents want me to stay a child forever, and I don't know if I want to grow up or stay a child. It just feels as though the whole world is changing around me, and it's all I can do to change with it."

"I hate crying," Peter said stiffly, viciously kicking the water and spraying droplets everywhere. Kate winced as some landed on her, but she said nothing about it. "I always feel so horrible when I cry. I feel lost and abandoned and so very, very alone."

"But that's what friends and family are for," she said quietly. "They're there so that you don't feel alone all of the time."

"But I don't have any of that," Peter said. "I don't have any family, not that I want them. And I don't have any friends, either. I turned my back on them as soon as they started talking about me growing up."

"I'm your friend."

He looked at her sharply, his gaze piercing, his mouth tight. She slowly reached out and hugged him, but he sprang away almost at once.

"Don't touch me," he said. "I don't want any of that! I chose not to have any of it!"

"Oh, but Peter, everyone needs a friend!" she cried, her throat beginning to tighten, her stomach knotting tightly. "No matter how brave you are, you can't go through life without a friend!"

"Yes I can!"

He flew out of the cave then, leaving her alone. She watched him go. She knew he would never come back to this spot to think again- she had succeeded in desecrating the sanctity of his private spot. But she knew he needed to be alone, to sort through his thoughts and feelings. He would find another spot to think, and then he would come and find her. It was the same thing she did whenever she got angry at her mother or her brothers. Sometimes a person just needed some space.

She was flying in circles, unable to situate herself on the map of the island. All she could see were trees as far as the eye could see, an Indian camp at one end of the island, and a pirate ship on the other end. But none of that helped her to figure out where the Home under the Ground was.

Suddenly exhausted, she landed in a clump of trees and sat down on a rock to think. She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment, trying to catch her breath. She felt a wave of exhaustion sweep over her, and she jerked her eyes open, forcing herself to stay awake.

"Hello there," a voice said.

She spun quickly, trying to locate the speaker. But she couldn't see anyone. She looked around the clearing, trying to see past the shadows, past the darkness.

She shook her head, dismissing it as a figment of her imagination, brought on by exhaustion. She closed her eyes again, insisting that she would be more likely to get home when she was more alert.

"I thought it was you," the voice said again.

She opened her eyes again, sitting up quickly. Bones stood directly in front of her, smiling cruelly, his dark eyes twinkling maliciously. She stood up, feeling quite naked and helpless without a weapon of some kind, while he was armed with both a pistol and a sword.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you. I'm not here for that," he said. He took one step in her direction, but she retreated one step, so he decided not to attempt to get closer, that it would be a wasted effort.

"What do you want then? Peter's not here," she said, trying desperately to keep her voice from shaking.

"Who said I wanted to talk to Peter?" he asked with a smile. She felt her stomach turning in knots, doing little flip-flops inside of her.

"What do you want?" she repeated, her voice shaking quite audibly this time.

"What is a pretty little thing like you doing in the company of a little pipsqueak like Peter Pan?" he asked, almost as though he was musing aloud. "I would think that you would rather spend your time in the company of men, not boys. I would think that you would want to feed off the minds and the thoughts of great intellectuals, not simpletons."

"I don't want to be in the company of intellectuals, they bore me to tears," Kate said, trying to keep her voice strong. He took one step in her direction, but this time she didn't retreat, transfixed by the power of his gaze.

"But you don't deny that you wouldn't mind being in the company of men," he said, with a smile. She didn't respond, but stared deeply into his eyes, those dark eyes that seemed to be pulling her in, never to return.

"I like Peter," she said defensively. "He makes me laugh, and we have fun together."

"Playing children's games," he finished. "But I know that you want to be playing adult games."

He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and handed it to her. She stared at it for a moment, confused. She hadn't smoked one in what seemed like ages. It was a foreign object to her now… she couldn't even remember how to use one. Bones shrugged and slowly put it back in his pocket, watching with pleasure the way her gaze followed the cigarette's path.

"You're not a child, are you?" he asked. She looked back at him, this time her gaze strong, her voice strong, her head held high and her bearing almost regal.

"I am neither a child nor an adult, sir. I am whatever I choose to be, and my decision is in any case of no concern to you."

He stared at her for a moment, completely taken aback, but he composed himself rather quickly. He smiled slightly and shrugged.

"Whenever you make your decision as to what you are, I would be interested to hear it. Because everyone around Peter ends up deciding to grow up, whatever the reason. I would be interested to know what that reason is."

He touched his hat in a gesture of retreat, and smiling, faded back into the now complete darkness. Kate sighed and fell to the ground, unable to control the tears. She fell asleep crying, her tears soaking into the damp ground. The fairies found her that night, and though they usually played tricks on the people they found in the forest, they left her alone. Perhaps it was because they couldn't bear to harm such a beautiful creature, who already seemed to be burdened by many troubles.


	5. Together Again

Chapter Five

She awoke at dawn. The sun was just beginning to peek through the leaves of the tall trees surrounding her, and the birds were just beginning to sing. She opened her eyes slowly, a drowsy sleepiness still haunting her. She stretched, attempting to remember why she was in this place and not at home with the Lost Boys. It all came back to her at once, and she almost regretted trying to remember.

She stood and brushed the dirt from her clothes- no matter how far away from home she got, she still loathed even the smallest stain on her clothing. She attempted to orient herself once more, without any luck, and so set forth into the woods, hoping she was heading the right way. In any case, any direction would be better than just sitting there and waiting.

It was a new part of the forest for her, one of the few places on the island that she hadn't already explored in the company of Peter. She looked with interested at the plants and flowers all around her, at the tiny birds that peered at her as she walked by, at the tiny mouse-like creatures that scuttled out of her way as she set her feet down. Neverland was a constant discovery for her, and she relished every moment of it, no matter how small.

"Who goes there?"

The voice was guttural and accusatory, and Kate froze in her tracks. She looked slowly around, attempting to locate a speaker, but she found none.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my forest?" the voice demanded. Kate smiled and glanced upwards, having discovered the source. It was a small little man who looked neither pirate nor Indian, but rather like a wild savage who had escaped from prison. He was sitting on a tree limb, a slingshot in his hand, loaded with a small fist-sized rock, which he was aiming directly at her.

"My name is Katie, sir, and I mean no harm. I've only gotten lost," she said quickly, and as politely as she could. She could tell that it was not in her best interest to anger this man, despite what her instincts were.

The man swung from limb to limb, slowly descending the tree with great agility before he finally landed on the ground with a soft noise. He observed her with interest, seeming to be especially fascinated by her cleanliness.

"I am Potts. I was run off of Bones' ship after I fired a cannon by accident and alerted Peter Pan to our presence. I have been hiding in this forest ever since, so that Bones won't find me. He's sworn that he'll kill me if he ever sees me again, and I know he'll do it."

Kate felt for the little man almost at once, not least because he looked so very lonely and scared. She wished she could help him, but she didn't know of anything she could do that would help to improve his situation.

"Do you know the way out of the forest?" she asked politely, trying not to offend. He smiled at her, revealing small, pointed yellow teeth, like those of a wild animal. Kate resisted cringing, and succeeded in keeping her expression quite blank.

"You have to follow the stream," he said with a small laugh. "Follow the stream as it heads towards the sea. That will most certainly lead you away from here."

She frowned slightly, not remembering any stream from the night before. The man sighed and pointed towards the north.

"It's only a little ways that way, ma'am," he said, sounding quite exasperated. Kate smiled at him.

"Thank you very much. I shall not forget your kindness, you may be sure of that," she said, beginning to walk away, eager to get away. He didn't seem to notice, but merely grunted in response and walked back to his tree. He climbed it quite quickly, like a monkey almost, and Kate was sure that he had spent a long time perfecting it, so that he would be able to hide at a moment's notice. A wave of hatred for Bones swept through her, but she calmed herself before it completely engulfed her.

True to his word, she found a small stream not very far off. It ran quickly and silently over rocks and brush, down towards the sea. It wasn't too long before she smelled the ocean and felt a sea breeze on her face, and she lay down in the sand, breathing in deeply, grateful for her escape from the forest.

"Katie?"

She sat up abruptly, recognizing the voice at once. She wasn't sure if she should be mad at him for having forgotten all about her, or if she should be glad that he had gotten back to his normal self, and that he wasn't too sore at her. She ended up sitting in silence, waiting for him to speak, trying to figure out what she should say next.

"What happened to you? The Lost Boys said they didn't see you at all last night. I thought you got lost or something."

Peter was hovering in the air above her, excited as always, carefree and apparently unconcerned that she had just navigated her way out of foreign and almost hostile territory.

"Of course I got lost, otherwise I would have been home," she snapped, standing up. Almost at once every thought of forgiveness vanished from her mind, and she could only focus on the fact that he hadn't bothered to come looking for her. "Why else wouldn't I have come home?"

Peter was instantly humbled by her outburst, as he always was whenever anyone had the nerve to speak to him as though they were on the same level as him, and he was no longer in charge. He floated to the ground and landed gently on the ground, his toes gently wiggling, sifting through the sand, she guessed out of nervousness.

"I thought you were mad at me," he said quietly, his eyes wide. She regretted her outburst then. How could she possibly have been angry with such an innocent boy? He was only a boy, after all. He didn't know any better than to go about his life; he didn't yet know how to look out for others, as others looked out for him.

"I wasn't mad at you Peter, I was worried," she said quietly, speaking gently, as a mother speaks to her wounded child. "I was worried that I hurt you. Are you alright?"

He frowned, looking confused. Peter had the rare ability of forgetting everything that had happened the moment before, and he had such a selective memory that oftentimes he had to invent past events in order to give the illusion that he actually knew quite a lot about nothing.

"Never mind," she said, sighing and waving a hand dismissively. "Are the Lost Boys up yet?"

"Oh, we were just looking for you," Peter said cheerfully. "We wanted to play another Robin Hood game, and we needed you to come up with an adventure for us."

Kate was cheered by their need for her, and all melancholy was subsequently wiped from her mind. She allowed herself to be flown up into the air and guided back to the Home under the Ground, where she was sure the Lost Boys were eagerly waiting for their return, and the beginning of a new adventure. Not to her surprise, they were all gathered in the main room, watching eagerly as they descended into the home. They set off a great cheer when they entered the room, and never before had Kate felt so welcome upon her return home.

"What game shall we play today, Katie?" one asked eagerly, his eyes wide as he pulled on the hem of her dress to get her attention. She smiled and picked him up, cradling him in her arms, touched by how small his tiny hands were.

"How about we lead an attack on Prince John?" she asked, her eyes twinkling with mirth. She put down the child all of a sudden and grabbed a sword which had been thrown to the floor, its owner having tired of playing with it.

She thrust the sword up into the air and crowed, just as triumphantly as Peter could ever have done. They all cheered and joined in, causing the house to vibrate with the triumphant trill of their crowing. She laughed and lowered her sword, looking at Peter to see what he thought of the whole idea.

"We shall do it," he said quietly, and they all cheered once more. He frowned, obviously trying to think up a plan, but after only a moment he smiled and soared into the air, expecting them all to follow him as he led them into battle.

"But how are we to do it, Robin?" Kate asked, feeling the need to get organized before they were facing Bones' men, outnumbered and powerless.

"You are to board his ship and demand an audience with him. You are to go into his private quarters and keep him there. We will then sneak onto the ship and steal the small chest which he keeps in his room and which he values above all else. When we've gotten off the ship safely, I'll crow and then you'll know that it's time to get off the ship," Peter said. He could barely contain the look of self-satisfied pleasure on his face, and Kate almost laughed to see it. He was ever a little boy, and though oftentimes it rather annoyed her, she sometimes found it most adorable. And it was these rare moments which continued to endear him to her, despite his many faults and shortcomings.

They set off on foot, laughing in hushed tones, trying not to make too much noise but succeeding poorly. No one seemed to mind, at least not until they began to reach the coast and they could smell the salty air. Then Kate's expression hardened and she signaled for silence. She took a deep breath, staring at Bones' large ship looming not too far from shore. She had only taken one step in its direction when she felt a hand on her wrist, pulling her back. She glanced backward, only to see Peter frowning and looking extremely distressed. It was the first time she had seen him anything other than happy, with the exception of the night before, and it nearly froze her heart to see him so.

"Take this," he said, handing her a small knife, sheathed in a neatly-patterned leather casing. She took it gingerly, examining the elegantly carved wood handle, depicting some romantic scene between two lovers. She glanced quickly up at Peter, confused. "You're not armed, and with Bones you should always have a weapon of some sort with you." There was a slight pause, during which he shuffled his feet nervously. "I just don't want anything to happen to you."

This slightly uncomfortable statement was met with silence, and their eyes met. They held that gaze for what seemed like an eternity, but finally she broke away, her heart pounding.

"You should go, before they see us standing here and they suspect that something's going on," he said, shuffling his feet once more. She sighed and tucked the knife away in her pocket, where it was easily accessible but would not be easily detected. Her nightgown had become quite dirty and lumpy in the past few days, and she doubted they would notice a slight bulge in her pocket, not when the rest of her nightgown was in such horrid condition.

"Good-bye, Peter," she said quietly, and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. Then, before he could even react, she tore off in the direction of the pirate ship, throwing herself off the cliff. Seconds later they could see her flying mere inches above the waves in the direction of the pirate ship.


	6. The Gambler

Chapter Six

She looked in through the window at Bones' study. She covered in the air, several feet above the water, staring in through the slightly dirty windowpane.

It was a nice study, not too large but nicely furnished in the fashion of the early 20th century: truth be told, it rather looked like her grandmother's house before they had moved in with her. A large bookcase lined one wall, filled with volumes and volumes of old manuscripts and priceless literary treasures. On the floor was a large and thick rug, the colors fading slightly, the designs beginning to disappear due to the constant pacing of the man who inhabited the room. Against one wall was a large desk, the legs elegantly carved in the shape of lions' heads, and it was at this wall that Bones sat, his head buried in his hands, apparently deep in thought. Kate sighed, a knot deep in the pit of her stomach.

She landed quietly on the ship's main deck. None of the crew was to be seen, and she silently tiptoed across the deck until she got to the door to Bones' study. Quietly she opened it and slipped inside, closing the door behind herself.

"I thought I told you that I don't wish to be disturbed when I'm in here," Bones said angrily, without looking up from his desk. By now he was writing, his pen making a scratching noise as it raced across the paper. Kate cleared her throat and he turned angrily to face her. But his anger subsided as soon as he recognized her, and he stared at her for what seemed like an eternity. "Take a seat, please," he said, motioning for her to sit in a large, carved wooden chair that stood against the wall opposite him.

"I'd rather stand," she said quietly, staring back at him. She kept her expression blank and tried to keep her voice strong, but she could feel her insides writhing in both disgust and fear.

He stood slowly and walked over to her. It was the first time she had seen him in a state of relative undress, for he wore no jacket and his shirt was open down to his chest. His long black hair, which was usually tied back, now hung about his face in soft tendrils. His expression, however, was just as stern and commanding as it ever was.

"What brings you here, little one?" he asked. He noticed her start at the mention of her being little, and his lips curled up at the corners. "Surely it wasn't our last conversation?"

She could think of no other way to distract him. She wanted to squeeze her eyes shut, make it go away, but she forced herself to keep her eyes locked with his, forced herself to not take several retreating steps backwards.

"Being a child has begun to bore me," she said quietly, looking down at the floor. When she looked up again he was smiling, his dark eyes hard and cold.

"Let me guess: you wish to return to the company of men, and engage yourself in more mature activities," he said, softly running his fingers up and down her naked arm. She felt her skin tingle at his touch, and she could feel the knot in her stomach tighten uncomfortably.

"What do you mean precisely by 'mature activities'?" she asked quietly, keeping her eyes on his face. She saw no flicker of emotion run across his face, nothing in his eyes except for the coldness of a cruel pirate.

He said nothing but looked down at her hands. She saw his gaze linger on the amethyst and pearl bracelet Peter had given her. She wasn't sure if he would be angry because it was stolen from him (which it undoubtedly was) or because Peter had given it to her (which he surely knew). Either way, when he looked back at her face she saw anger in his eyes; the mysterious and cruel smile which had been there moments before was gone, replaced by the usual cold frown.

"Well, for starters you can remove that ridiculous bracelet," he said, turning away from her and going to a small wardrobe that stood in the corner of the room. "It's holding you back, keeping you tied to the past. Besides, I'm sure I have something much nicer for you to wear, more appropriate for the young lady that you are."

She almost felt her heart stop as he asked her to remove it. She was sure the game was over now, that he would see that she was a fake, that he would call his pirates and make her walk the plank for her treachery. But he did nothing, continuing to rummage around in his wardrobe, searching for something.

"Do you play cards?" he asked, turning around and revealing a deck. She stared at it, surprised by the innocence of the object, and nodded slowly, her mouth slightly open. He smiled as he went back to his desk and sat down, slowly fingering the cards. "A game of cards is very telling about a person's character, you know. Just from observing the way they play, you can discover their most intimate secrets, the things they keep hidden from everyone else. You can tell if they're good liars, if they play safe, or even if they like to take risks. Are you a risk-taker?"

She paused, considering the question seriously. For some reason she felt that the question carried more weight than even Bones knew. Somehow she felt that it addressed her personally, especially in her current situation.

Was she a risk-taker? She thought back to the night of the Indian feast, when Peter had brought her to the fire-tree. She had thought to kiss him then, indeed it had crossed her mind, but she hadn't done it. She remembered the day he'd taught her how to shoot a bow and arrow- the thought had crossed her mind then, too. What had held her back those many times? It couldn't be that she was nervous- she was experienced, this was hardly new to her. Perhaps it was that Peter was so very young, and she felt so very old compared to him. And then she knew. It came upon her, opened her eyes and illuminated everything like a flash of lightning that lights up the dark night sky. She feared rejection- she felt more for Peter than she had ever felt for any boy before, and she feared that because of his immaturity he would reject her. She feared the look in his eyes if she leaned in to kiss him. She feared the subsequent awkwardness that would come between them. But no longer. She knew that she had to put a stop to this game she was playing with herself, denying herself the greatest desire she had ever known. So what if he rejected her? She could always return home, and then she'd never have to see him again. So what if he broke her heart? That had happened before. She had to stop playing it safe, had to try to claim the one thing she desired above all- the affections of Peter Pan.

"I do believe I am," she said finally, holding her head quite high and smiling proudly.

Bones was taken aback by the fire in her eyes, and said nothing for the longest period of time; he simply stared at her, taking her in, knowing that something about her had changed but not quite sure what.

And in those long moments of silence a cry rang out through the darkness- a loud, triumphant crow, like that of a bird flying away into the night with its prey. Bones' expression hardened, realizing that he had been tricked but not yet sure how, but the grin on Kate's face broadened until her whole face was aglow. Before Bones even had a chance to react, she let out a loud giggle, a sound so gay and childish one would have thought it had been uttered by Peter Pan himself. And then she flew into the air and off the ship, before he even had a chance to reach for his sword.

Kate flew all around the island, grinning broadly, feeling the night air on her face. Never had she felt so free, so liberated. She felt like a new person. She spun in circles, danced on the water, teased the mermaids as she flew by them. She did all the things Peter liked to do, all the things that she used to think were childish nonsense. But now she delighted in them, laughed when the mermaids cursed at her in their strange tongue, glaring at her as she disappeared into the shadow-shrouded forest on the Mainland.

She got home very late. She half-expected the boys to have fallen asleep on the floor, waiting for her, all of them facing the door, but they were all awake, staring avidly at the door. They all cheered when she got home, ran to hug her, congratulating her on making their adventure a complete success. She giggled and hugged them back, but her joy was slightly marred by the fact that Peter hung back in one corner of the room, staring at them solemnly, playing with the clasp of a small wooden box that sat in his lap.

"What is it, Peter?" she asked, frowning. She pushed the Lost Boys away and walked over to him, feeling as though someone was wringing all the blood from her heart.

He looked up as she drew closer, his eyes suddenly regaining focus. He said nothing but merely held the box out to her. She stared at it for a brief moment, then looked back at him. He nodded, assuring her that she should take it, and she obeyed. On the lid were intricate designs; in the center was what appeared to be a somewhat large Tudor rose. Kate frowned, taking her time, admiring the box, running her fingers slowly over the engravings. Then, her fingers trembling slightly, she opened the clasp and then slowly pulled the lid open.

Inside was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen, a braided silver band with a large diamond as the centerpiece. It was the largest diamond she had ever seen, bigger even than the ones she'd seen in the windows of Tiffany's. It was surrounded by many tiny emeralds that glinted as they caught the dim candlelight of the room.

She looked up at Peter, not sure whether to be happy they had seized such treasure or whether to be confused and worried about why Bones would even be in possession of such a treasure, and why he would be guarding it so well. He was still frowning, so she decided to contain her excitement over their conquest.

"Now we know for certain that he had a girl," he said quietly, staring at the ring.

"He must have loved her very much," Kate added, watching Peter intently, studying the expression on his face. "It's a beautiful engagement ring."

Peter jerked his head up suddenly, frowning.

"Is that what it is? I wondered why it looked so nice," he said. Kate almost smiled at his ignorance, but she caught herself just in time. "I was going to give it to you, but then I thought about it and decided that not even Bones deserves to have his treasures re-used like that. I don't think he would appreciate having other people make use of it as though it were only a plaything."

Kate was touched by this rare flash of maturity and consideration. She had known that Peter was capable of kindness and thoughtfulness, but this was the first proof she had received that confirmed her theory. She smiled and stared at him with watery eyes, a lump beginning to rise in her throat. She wanted to speak, wanted to let him know how touched she was by his consideration of the cruel pirate's most treasured possession, but she didn't dare to speak, should that provoke the tears to come rolling down her cheeks. Above all she didn't want to cry, because then there would be questions, and questions demanded answers, which she didn't want to give.

"What do you suppose we do with it then?" she asked, slowly and silently closing the lid and once again doing the clasp on the box. Peter held out his hand for it, and she slowly handed it to him. He shrugged.

"We could always just give it back," he suggested. She smiled.

"I think that's a perfectly lovely idea, Peter."


	7. Paths Crossed Once

Chapter Seven

The next few days continued in what could have been bliss, but was unfortunately for Kate a constant torment. She lay in wait, her senses sharp and heightened by her extreme desire to proclaim her affections. But somehow the moment never came. She would be ready to tell him, ready to bare her soul, but then he would be distracted and the moment would be lost.

No one spoke of Bones' treasure again. She wasn't sure if Peter had actually returned it, but she supposed he had for she never saw it again. That was one less thing to worry about, especially since Peter had consumed her mind, ever fiber of very being since that fateful day on Bones' ship.

One afternoon they were all out playing hide and seek in the forest. Kate was all by herself, hiding behind a rather large bush, her ears pricked, waiting to hear even the smallest indication that someone was nearby. She could, however, hear nothing but cheerful bird song, merrily proclaiming the beauty of the day.

"Got you," someone said behind her, their voice filled with delight. Kate giggled and turned to face Peter. He was hovering in the air over her head, a small smile playing on his lips, retaining laughter.

"That's not fair. You were flying and I couldn't hear you coming," she protested, pulling on his foot and jerking him to the ground. He laughed and pushed her slightly.

"All's fair in my games," he said, laughing. She frowned slightly, then laughed. She wanted so much to say it right now, but something was holding her back yet again. For some reason, now that the moment had come, she couldn't speak the words… Instead she kicked his leg out from under him and he fell to the ground, laughing but looking extremely confused.

"That's not fair!"

"You said everything is fair in your games," she pointed out sweetly, batting her eyelashes. He laughed.

"You'll pay for this, Katie!" he said. She giggled.

"Only if you can catch me!" she yelled back, beginning to run away as fast as her legs could carry her. There was once a point when even the smallest effort caused her to sweat profusely and for her breathing to become ragged, but she ran now quickly and with the greatest of ease. Where once she had loathed sports, she now loved to play with the Lost Boys, the more exercise and violence involved the better.

She ran without seeing, without watching precisely where she was going. She wound her way around the trees and through the brush, stepping over exposed roots and the small holes in the ground dug by tiny burrowing animals.

All at once something grabbed her from behind. She squealed a little, slightly startled, but she assumed it was Peter and thought nothing of it. But when Bones' face leered at her, and she felt the pirates tying her wrists and ankles so that she couldn't escape, she felt her heart flutter as she began to panic. They tied a handkerchief around her mouth so that she couldn't scream and then they slung her over their backs like a sack of potatoes. If she hadn't been more afraid, she would have been indignant over this mistreatment. She was, after all, a lady.

They took her to their ship and locked her in Bones' study. They didn't even bother to undo her bonds, but dumped her rather unceremoniously on the ground and left her there.

How long would it take for Peter to notice her disappearance? How long until he came after her? Would he come after her? Surely he would- for even if he didn't do it out of affection for her, he would do it simply for the adventure. But oh, how she longed for it to be the former!

She was locked in there for what felt like ages. Finally one of Bones' henchmen came in and undid her bonds, then handed her a dish filled with chicken and what looked like porridge. She picked at it, staring at it with a revolted look on her face, but then forced herself to imagine it was a delectable meal fit for a king. It slid down her throat quite easily after that, and she really could taste the gravy, potatoes and caviar.

Nothing happened for a while after that. When she got bored she began wandering around the room, poking things and exploring. To her surprise, many of the books in Bones' library were of a literary nature, books she herself had read and loved. The familiar nature of the titles was strangely comforting to her, for now she felt a rather intimate bond with the captain of the ship, felt she could understand him a little better. These were all books she had read in an attempt to give her life meaning, a failed attempt to comprehend the confusing and muddled nature of life.

She at first hesitated to go through his wardrobe, but when she passed what seemed like an eternity without doing anything and without anyone bursting into the room, she convinced herself to open the whittled-wood door. Inside were dark shirts and pants, all of them clean and pressed, organized by nature of the article of clothing and by color. She marveled at how organized a single pirate was, for from her experience men were not the cleanest of creatures. His socks were clean and lay neatly folded in a drawer. She ran her fingers over them, feeling the softness of the cotton. They seemed to be new, for they were too soft to have been washed very many times. Kate smiled. She had always loved the smell and the feel of new fabric. Obviously Bones did too.

"What are you doing?"

She started at the sound of his voice, and she hastily closed the cabinet door, staring guiltily into the eyes of the pirate. He didn't seem too angry with her, but rather curious and slightly confused.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, the silence weighing heavily upon her. She hoped that an apology would ease the load bearing down upon her, but it did nothing of the kind. In fact it made it worse.

"Why don't you have a seat?" he asked, indicating the large wood chair he had been sitting in the first time she had been in there. She stared at it for a moment, and then sensing that she was in no position to refuse, she obeyed. "Did you find anything interesting?"

"You have very good taste in literature," she commented, indicating with a jerk of her head the rows and rows of books that lined the walls. He smiled slightly, the ends of his mouth curling slightly upwards in a twisted sort of smile. "I've read a lot of those myself."

"Did you like them?"

"Loved them."

A silence fell upon them once more and Bones sighed, staring out the grimy window. Darkness had fallen across the island, and Kate was beginning to think Peter would never come. Her heart had risen into her throat and she could hardly breathe, it was choking her so badly. Tears threatened to erupt at any moment, but she refused to give Bones the satisfaction of seeing her cry on his account.

"Do you know why you're here?" he asked suddenly. She stared up into his eyes. She had an idea, yes, but she'd had nothing to do with it. She said nothing, though, and Bones sensed that it was once again his turn to speak. "Something very precious was taken from me, something very valuable. I demand its return."

"I thought Peter gave it back," she whispered, a desperate and confused gaze filling her eyes. Bones' expression at once softened, and he knelt down so that he was looking her directly in the eyes. He gently ran his fingers through her hair, a comforting gesture that Kate, oddly, did not shy away from.

"You convinced him to return it?"

"We came to a mutual agreement," she whispered, and it felt as though they shared some intimate bond, some small connection. Feeling rather guilty, though, she lowered her eyes and stared at the Oriental rug. "He said he would."

"Treasure often destroys many of the things men hold dear, including promises," Bones whispered soothingly, putting a hand under her chin and lifting it so that she was once again looking into his eyes. "You know the true value of the ring, don't you?"

She nodded slowly. "Who did you intend to give it to?"

"I won't give you her name, but she was a great lady of London. She stole my heart one day and never returned it. I saw her when I was going to work one morning. She had her parasol resting on her shoulder, and her face was shrouded in shadow. She had the brightest eyes I've ever seen, and the reddest lips imaginable. They curved up in a small smile, and her eyes were so warm that you felt immediately that you knew her. She was so beautiful… She must be the most beautiful woman alive."

"But whatever happened? Where is she now?" she asked, leaning in, captivated by the story. The woman sounded strangely familiar, and she felt a strong urge to know more about her, felt a need to recognize her.

"Her parents convinced her I was too low-born for her. I thought she still loved me, but one night when I tried to climb in through her window and get her to sneak away with me, she rejected me so flatly that I knew she didn't love me any more. The pain of the heart is the greatest pain you will ever feel in life. There is nothing like it, and there is no cure for it. It fades away eventually until you can barely feel it, but it's always there, lurking, springing into life at the most unexpected moments, eating you alive. That's when I came to Neverland- I felt there was nothing left for me in London. There really wasn't, actually. Everywhere I went I saw her, and the worst was when I saw her one day walking the streets, another man's arm around her waist, and her smiling and pushing a perambulator with a tiny baby in it."

Kate let out a little gasp of pain and she slowly reached out and patted his hand. He had been staring at the floor and he now looked up at her, his eyes filled with the greatest pain Kate had ever seen before. The small smile which before had constantly played on his lips was gone, replaced by muscles slowly tugging the mouth into a frown.

"What was her name?" Kate urged in a whisper, leaning closer so that their foreheads were touching.

"Jane Darling," he whispered. "The most beautiful name ever uttered by man."


	8. You were my greatest love

Chapter Eight

She fell asleep in his study. He made a bed for her in the window seat of his study, overlooking the water. The gentle rocking of the boat on the waves soothed her to sleep, and she felt strangely safe despite the perilous situation she found herself in.

She awoke that morning to find that breakfast had already been laid out for her, toast and an omelet. It was delicious, and she ate with great gusto. When she was done she browsed the volumes lined against the wall and selected a title which she had intended to read for some time, and slowly began to read the first page.

"Do you like it?"

She looked up suddenly, snapping the book shut. She looked rather guilty, and indeed she felt so, for she felt she had no right to be using his things like that. But he seemed unconcerned by the matter, and she slowly placed the book back where she had found it.

"But back to the matter of primary importance to us," he said seriously. His expression was stern now. His eyes were not cold, but they did not laugh either. Kate immediately felt the change in him. The intimacy of the evening was over. Now it was back to business.

"Will you keep me here until Peter returns the ring?" she asked. "Because if you would just let me go, I could fetch it myself and have it back within the day-"

"He must pay for having stolen an object of such value to me. I want him dead," Bones said quietly, looking her directly in the eyes. Kate felt something grab her stomach and wrench it quite violently.

"He didn't mean to, he just wanted to know what it was that you valued so much," she protested. "He really did want to give it back, I'm a witness to it-"

He silenced her with a wave of his hand. It was such an imperious and commanding gesture that one had no other choice but to obey it.

"You'll be set free once he's dead," he announced. "Until then, you'll be kept on the deck so that when he flies overhead he can see you in your state of plight."

What had happened to him since the night before? What had closed his mind to her and her youthful interpretation of life? She could only imagine. In any case, it was disastrous to her cause. She closed her eyes and choked back the tears as he tied to the rope around her wrists, tied them behind her back and marched her up on deck. It was a cold and bitter morning. The sea was choppy and the boat jerked back and forth. She was pelted with salty water and within moments her face and hair were drenched with sticky seawater. But at that moment she didn't mind. For now her primary concern was Peter and his safety.

"You love him, don't you?" Bones yelled over the roar of the waves. Kate looked at him with a wet gaze.

"What does it matter to you? You lost your love, and your heart has been closed ever since. You've taught yourself not to feel, just so that you don't have to feel the pain that she caused you," she yelled back. She saw anger flash through his eyes, but he didn't lash out at her, nor did he respond immediately.

"You do realize that Peter Pan is a boy, and always will be? No one has yet succeeded in maturing him. And I know that you will soon tire of childhood. Girls like you are always longing for adventure, for something more grown-up in nature. What will happen then? Will you give up your adulthood for him, or will you give him up in favor of new adventures?"

"Why must you plunge a dagger into my heart and then twist it? Why must you have everyone who surrounds you in as much pain as you are? I am truly sorry for what happened to you. But that's what happens in life. You're not afraid of life, are you? Or is that actually the reason you ran away to the island? That's why most people come, isn't it?" she pressed, her voice becoming strong despite the tears that she was fighting back with some difficulty.

"I am afraid of nothing!" he thundered, raising his sword. Kate winced and looked away, but nothing happened. When she finally opened her eyes, he had lowered his sword, but he was gazing at her with fire in his eyes. "I wouldn't get involved with him, if I were you. That always makes it so very much harder to leave the island."

"Bones!"

The voice rang out over the ship, sounding out louder than the waves, louder than the sea, louder even than the shouts of the sailors. It was a childish voice but a voice filled with strength and courage, devoid of fear and full of that insatiable desire for adventure and love of life.

Bones turned around suddenly, his eyes wide with surprise. Some might have described the look in his eyes as fear, but most knew that Bones was incapable of fear, or at least the same fear that consumes the rest of us.

"Let her go, Bones!" he called, stepping out from behind the sail, a smile playing on his lips, his hands set triumphantly on his hips, his stance strong and his head held high. Kate's heart caught in her throat when she saw him, and she smiled all at once, despite her present situation.

"I won't let her go without a fight, Pan," Bones declared. Peter laughed.

"If that's the case," he said, then shrugged. And without saying anything further, he swooped down and started attacking Bones, hitting him with deft strokes of his sword which Bones always managed to parry with what seemed like ease. At that moment the Lost Boys swarmed onto the ship out of nowhere, screaming as they launched themselves onto the pirates, attacking with whatever they happened to have in hand, which could be a knife or a sword, but which was sometimes a slingshot or a rather heavy branch they had found in the forest and brought home one day. One of them cut Kate loose and handed her a sword, and she immediately joined the battle, uttering a great battle cry as she launched herself into the fight.

She was doing rather well, at least until Bones attacked her from behind. She hadn't been looking out for him, thinking he and Peter were engaged in a passionate duel. He attacked her with ferocious voracity, a fire burning deep within his eyes. Kate had trouble fending him off, and she kept losing ground to him until he had her backed up to the side of the ship. With a cruel smile he raised his sword and brought it down on her hand, slicing the back of her wrist and just missing the vein, knocking the sword out of her hand. She screamed in pain and nearly collapsed on the floor but managed to stand strong, refusing to give him that satisfaction. He held his sword to her neck, and she breathed heavily as she met his gaze with her own calm one, attempting to meet her death with dignity. Her gaze seemed to challenge him, daring him to kill her.

"No!"

Peter launched himself at Bones, but apparently the pirate had been waiting for this. He swung quickly and sliced Peter's shoulder. Peter screamed, a scream filled with the terrible anguish of a disillusioned child. His sword fell to the ground with a sound that seemed to echo throughout the ship which had now become silent. Peter, who had been hovering above the ground, fell to the floor, and simply lay there motionless, staring up at Bones with the innocent gaze of a child who is unsure of what to do.

"Prepare to die, Peter," Bones said with a cruel laugh, raising his sword. But before he brought it down he glanced over at Kate, who stood on the side of the boat, rooted to the spot, her eyes wide. As Bones looked over at her, everyone's eyes turned to her in the same way. "Take one last look at her, Peter. The girl you loved but who will never love you back. She's much too old for you anyway. She's on the threshold of adulthood, you know. Any day now she's going to become a grown-up. And then she'll leave you for her own world of adult games, adult pleasures, those joys in life that you will never experience. Take a last look. That's the face of the one joy in life you'll never know, just like me- mutual love."

Peter stared at her, his eyes wide. He looked just like a tiny child, lost and confused. Kate felt like crying, felt her heart being ripped from her chest and then trampled by a flamenco dancer. For the first time ever, they saw tears welling up in Peter's eyes. And then he turned away from her, looked back at the cold, hard smile of satisfaction on Bones' face.

"Peter, it's not true! I really do love you! I'll stay forever young for you, if you want! Peter, look at me!" she yelled, but it had no effect. He kept staring obstinately at Bones, who looked from one to the other, apparently having difficulty containing his joy at how the situation had turned out.

Kate collapsed on the floor crying, her face buried in her hands. Bones continued watching, prolonging Peter's death simply so that he could enjoy this marvelous scene of utter disillusionment and loss of hope and the beauty of life.

But all at once Kate looked up again, her face still wet but her expression determined.

"One thing before he dies," she whispered. They could barely hear her above the roar of the waves, but her voice was so soft and beautiful that they could all clearly distinguish the words. "I owe him something, and I couldn't possibly let him die without giving it to him."

Bones laughed and let out a melodramatic sigh. The other pirates laughed too, and with a negligent wave of his hand he indicated that she could step closer to him.

She crept slowly close to him, crawling on her hands and knees. She leaned over him slowly, staring down into his chocolate eyes. He refused to meet her gaze, but stared instead up at the gray sky.

She leaned down slowly so that she could whisper into his ear. As she spoke her breath gently stirred the long tendrils of sandy hair that hung about his face.

"This belongs to you, and only you. I want you to have it, and I don't want you ever to forget that you were my greatest love," she whispered.

She straightened up slightly and stared back at him for a second. He was actually looking at her now, and for a brief moment their eyes met. Then she bent down and planted her lips on his, giving him the kiss that stayed forever in the right-hand corner of her mouth, that kiss that ran in the Darling line and that forever tantalized the men who could never quite get it.

When she pulled away Peter was smiling. It was the greatest expression of joy and love that she had ever seen on any one person's face. All sorrow and worry were instantly banished from her heart as she hastily retreated to a corner from the ship to hide. She watched as Peter flew into the air, circled the ship once, crowing loudly. He scooped his sword up before anyone could react and flew around Bones' head, just out of his reach. He laughed as the pirate swung madly at him, trying to reach him, trying to capture him once again. The rest of the pirates watched, fascinated, and before any of them could react Peter swooped in and stuck his sword straight through Bones' heart.


	9. Breaking Away

Chapter Nine

They all stared in horror for a moment. But it was the longest moment of Kate's life. Time seemed suspended, frozen in that one second. Everyone stared, eyes wide, their jaws dropped. They had almost no expressions on their faces except perhaps surprise, no one knowing quite what to think.

"It's over," one of the Lost Boys whispered, seeming awed by the whole thing. They all looked back at Peter, as though asking him to tell them what to do. He said nothing but looked back at Kate, who slowly lifted her gaze from the lifeless corpse until her eyes met his.

"Let's get out of here," he said quietly, and took Kate's hand. He flew up into the air, leading her. The Boys hung back for an instant, watching them go, but they soon followed suit.

He took her to the other side of the island, to the beach, a small cove shielded from prying eyes. Thankfully, none of the Lost Boys followed, and they found themselves quite alone.

They didn't speak for what seemed like ages. The sun had come out again, and Peter paced back and forth on the beach, kicking the sand and sometimes staring out to sea, his eyes lost in thought. Exhausted from everything that had happened in the last few days, Kate sank onto a piece of driftwood and stared down at the sand, playing with it, getting it between her toes and wriggling them. Sometimes she would look up at the wide blue sky and smile, breathing in the fresh, salty air. There was nothing she loved more than sea air, for with the breeze flowing through her hair and the tangy smell in her nostrils she always felt as though there was nothing she couldn't do, as though the whole world lay at her feet. It was the feeling that she always wanted to keep with her, that she strove to keep constantly about her. That was what she looked for in all her relationships, that thing that often led her to destructive behavior and even more destructive friendships, which was rather odd since the sensation she strove the attain was so pure and innocent.

"What adventures will we have now that the pirates don't have a captain any longer?" Kate asked quietly, her voice cutting through the silence. Peter looked up sharply, brought abruptly back to reality.

"They'll find another one," he said quietly. "They always do. Then we'll have more adventures."

But something had changed about him. Kate felt it at once. Usually when he spoke of adventures and fun his voice would become charged with excitement and energy, a livelihood that was infectious, and quickly spread to all those around him. But now he was quiet and serious. Even his eyes were serious- they had lost that dancing mirth that they usually possessed. But they had managed to gain something else, a fire that burned deep within his soul, a passion that seemed unquenchable.

"What kinds of adventures, Peter?" she asked. He shrugged.

"Oh, I don't know. We could have fights, and go looking for lost treasure, and play make-believe…" His voice trailed off, but even so Kate could hear the utter disinterest he had in those games. She almost smiled to herself.

"You don't always have to play games with the Lost Boys, you know," she whispered, standing up and walking over to him. Their eyes locked, and slowly she reached out and took his hand, holding it tightly within hers. "Sometimes you can just play games with me."

His lips curled upwards at that suggestion, and she felt the fire that had once possessed him return, and far stronger than it had ever been before. She smiled too, then slowly leaned in and kissed him quickly.

"I like that game," he whispered. She smiled at him.

But suddenly his smile disappeared. He frowned, and the fire in him went out. Kate felt her own happiness disappear just as quickly, as though he exacted control over her emotions.

"I'm turning into a grown-up, aren't I?" he asked quietly.

"It's not such a bad thing," she whispered, putting a hand under his chin and forcing him to look up at her. "It's different, but it's no less fun. I promise."

He didn't seem convinced. She thought she saw his eyes glistening once again with tears, but a second later any trace of them was gone, though his eyes remained sad.

"I don't want to grow up. I said I never would. But now I'm kind of curious about what it's like. I just know that if I grow up I'll never be able to become a child again, and I'm so very afraid that I won't like being grown up."

Kate smiled slightly. She felt a lump welling up in her own throat. How wonderfully he put everything she had been feeling over the past few years as she slowly began to grow up, mentally and physically, as she began to see her whole world changing, and she not able to keep up, wanting so badly to remain in her small, childish world forever.

"I know exactly how you feel. I'm scared of it too. But everyone has to grow up at some point. No one wants to, not really. But at the same time there are so many wonderful things about being a grown up that you can't help becoming one," she coaxed. She sounded like her mother, and she knew it. But for once she didn't mind. For once she found the words comforting and she actually admitted it to herself. "You can't have both, Peter. No one can."

"Which one do you choose?" he asked, turning his distraught gaze on her. She sighed.

"I choose whichever one you do, for now at least. But at some point I know that I'll want to go back and grow up. I want to know what it's like, Peter. It can't be all bad, I'm sure of it."

"Do you promise?" he asked. She smiled.

"I promise."

The Lost Boys looked up as they entered the room. They noticed the change in their leader almost as soon as he walked through the door, arm in arm with Kate. They weren't quite sure what had changed, but none of them was sure that they liked it.

"I'm taking Kate home today," Peter announced. This was instantly met with protests and groans, demands and pleads for her to stay, for a little longer at least. But Peter held up a hand for silence, and they obeyed at once. "I've decided to go with her."

They had nothing to say to this. They didn't know what they could say. Forget seeing Bones get killed- this was the longest, most excruciating moment of her life. The silence was broken when one of the Boys erupted in tears. She wanted to run over to him, scoop him up in her arms and comfort him, the way she would her own brother, but Peter held her back.

"Anyone who wants to come with us is more than welcome to. Anyone who can stay is more than welcome to do that. In my absence, I'm appointing Carrot the leader. You'll listen to everything he says, no matter what it is. He's in charge now."

Even more boys erupted in tears, and Kate felt a lump welling up in her own throat, threatening to explode at any moment. Carrot's own eyes were wet as he stood up and bowed to Peter, a moment of recognition and thanks, a noble gesture that seemed to stab Kate's heart, and stab deep.

"I'll miss you all very much, and I'll never forget you," Peter said quietly, staring at the back wall, refusing to look any of them in the eye. "Look after yourselves."

At this point Kate herself let herself go and allowed the tears to flow freely. She bent down and scooped them all up in a big hug. She wanted to make the moment last, keep them there in her arms. What good was going home if she had to leave all of them behind? Why did she have to choose between her friends at home and her friends here?

"I love you all so much," she whispered. "Thank you so much for reminding me of how important it is to hold on to your youth."

Almost none of them understood what she was talking about, but all of them erupted in renewed tears. Reluctantly Kate broke away and allowed Peter to wrap his arm around her waist, preventing her from rejoining them, from changing her mind and choosing to stay for just a little longer. He knew better than she did how important it was that they return now, before it was too late.

"Good-bye," she whispered, before they turned and Peter led her away from the Home Under the Ground for the last time.


	10. Farewell

Chapter Ten

The window was open. The curtains fluttered in the breeze. Her mother slept in the chair facing her desk. Everything was in its place, with the exception of Kate's favorite T-shirt, a concert T-shirt from the Beatles. This her mother held clutched to her chest, as though by holding her favorite article of clothing close to her, this would cause her daughter to suddenly materialize.

"She looks old," Kate whispered, fearing to step into the room. During the flight she had been excited about this moment, had imagined the wonderful reunion, had planned out what she would say. But now she couldn't even will herself to step over the windowsill.

Her mother woke up suddenly, and blinked several times. She rubbed her eyes wearily and stood up, stretching, working the kinks out of her back. She looked so tired, so worn. Kate's heart ached as she looked at her. She wondered if her mother would ever notice her standing there, watching.

Her mother noticed finally. She stared for what seemed like an eternity, as though trying to decide if this was real or if she were still asleep.

"I'm home, Mother," Kate said quietly, tears in her eyes, finally deciding to speed the reunion up a little. Her mother screamed and they ran into each other's arms, her mother covering her with kisses. Never had Kate experienced a hug so tight, so welcoming, so full of love. She wished her mother would never let go, but she finally pulled away, looking her daughter up and down with a critical eye.

"I was so worried about you," she said, crying but trying not to. "Don't you ever do that to me again, do you hear?"

Kate nodded mutely, wondering how she should drop the bombshell. Her mother was smiling down at her, taking her in, soaking in the beauty of the moment. But something in the window caught her gaze, and Kate turned to see what. She smiled and ran over to him, taking his hand and pulling him into the room.

"Mother, this is Peter Pan," she announced. Peter looked extremely uncomfortable, and Kate feared that he would fly suddenly out the window and back to Neverland. But he did no such thing, preferring to stand rooted to the spot, staring up into the kind but very confused face of Kate's mother. "Can he stay with us?"

"I don't see how it's a problem," she managed finally, collecting herself. "I should make the guest bedroom."

She started towards the door, busying herself. Kate shook her head slowly.

"He wants to stay, Mother," she said quietly. "Forever."

Her mother turned slowly, not sure she had heard correctly. She was frowning when she turned around, and never had Kate seen anyone more confused than in that instant. She almost laughed at the odd look on her mother's face, but she restrained herself, especially as Peter's grip on her hand became tighter as the suspense of the moment grew.

"I suppose so," she whispered. Then she turned to leave, leaving the question of how the Boy Who Never Grows Old decided to grow up unanswered.

"You've seen my room already," Kate began, deciding to give Peter the tour of the whole house in an effort to keep herself busy, so that she wouldn't think about the Lost Boys and the Indians, and all the friends she had left behind. "But I have to show you the guest bedroom- it's so big, you'll absolutely love it!"

The false joy in her voice was very obvious. Peter didn't comment though. He simply turned his sad gaze on her.

"How did Robin Hood end, Katie?" he asked quietly, reminding her once again of a forlorn little boy.

"King Richard came home and took his throne back from Prince John, who got thrown into the dungeon with the Sheriff of Nottingham and all of his men. Robin killed Sir Guy of Gisborne. And once Richard got home and thanked Robin for his good deeds, he performed the wedding ceremony that finally united Robin and Marian."

"So everyone ended up happy?" Peter asked. Kate nodded. "Will we end up happy?"

Kate didn't know how to answer. But finally she smiled and kissed him.

"Of course we will," she whispered. "I'll make sure we will."

He smiled, reassured by the certainty in her voice, as well as by her embrace. Her kisses always filled him with a renewed sense of self-confidence and of the beauty in life.

"Can I go see my bedroom now?" he asked. She nodded.

"It's the room that my mother is in right now," she whispered. "I'll be there in a minute."

Peter ran out of the room. She could hear his footsteps as he ran down the hall, the pitter patter of tiny feet. Slowly, she turned back to face the window. She stood in the windowsill, looking out at the stars. She wanted to cry, but she held the tears back in case Peter should come back. Above all, she didn't want him to see her like that.

"Good-bye, Neverland," she whispered. And it seemed at that moment as if all the stars were waving good-bye to her, wishing her good luck on her greatest adventure of all. And the star which shone the brightest was, off course, the second star to the right.


End file.
